idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
