it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
