the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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