OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
