You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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