On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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