There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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