I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
