does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
