White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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