Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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