"it" just moved
It's Friday. Sex?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
