What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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