Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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