I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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