If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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