My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
