How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
