hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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