I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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