you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
