So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
