Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
