so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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