I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
