Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
