he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize