too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
