I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
