omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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