I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
