girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
