The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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