Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
