Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
