o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have fence marks all over my body
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
