i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Don't make out with my wife yet
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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