Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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