so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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