dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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