He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize