Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
