We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
