my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
