my mouth tastes like poor choices
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
