when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize