Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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