Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
