i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
