if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
