No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
