This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
