How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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