I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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