were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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