my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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