I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
