I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Also, beer. Big fan.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
