Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
