South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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