Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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