some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
