He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
