She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
