...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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