out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize