Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
