Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
