Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
