I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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